Believer's Baptism

I woke up today, June 2nd, as though it were my first day in Murree. I was still insecure about my place and shy about mixing, but at least I felt awake and alert, able to smile and think clearly. The first order of business was to have breakfast. Since we were too late to have breakfast with the high school boys at their dorm (walking distance from our cabin) we walked down to the town at the base of the hill. All five of us, (Mr.S, Mrs.S, Joel, Jodie and I,) shuffled into a tiny café to order fried eggs, fried bread, and chai. I was acutely aware that, other than Pat and I, the café was patronized only by men who were staring at us subtly. I felt better when it turned out that our booth was equipped with curtains to shield ladies from indiscreet glances.

After the meal, we were picked up by a missionary couple who offered to drive us up to the school. It was very challenging to maneuver the car out of the town and up beyond the military barricade surrounding the school. People were milling around in the streets which were otherwise filled with parked cars. I found out from Pat that people were uneasy because the demolition that had been clearing one side of the street was about to take down the final building, a mosque. It turns out now, later in the day, that people are protesting by burning tires in the road and have cut the lines which provide internet to the school.

When we did manage to get up the steeply winding road to the school, I enjoyed a quiet morning of much needed reflection. I listened to worship music on my i-pod and finally took time to write in my journal. Because I had been saving my sights and experiences to share with you, I hadn’t journalled at all since leaving the country. I found great relief in writing about my surroundings, my immediate feelings, the bird calls that I’d noticed etc. without having to feel that I was composing for an audience. After journaling in the sun for a while, I moved inside the church where students were practicing music and read the book Alessandro lent me, “Biblical Inner Healing”. By the time lunch came around I was thoroughly refreshed.

Today at Murree there was only one scheduled event. I had the distinct pleasure of attending the baptism of eight students. We sat outside and sang songs and heard a message about the events that lead up to the baptism of the Ethiopian by Philip the Evangelist. But the really moving part of the ceremony was when each student solemnly declared that they believed that Jesus was the son of God, that he had died for their sins and that they dedicated their lives to him; then each student briefly told their testimony. After this, the child’s mother prayed for them and the child’s father baptized them in water while the priest held the microphone. It was very moving to see the young people so earnestly explaining why they wanted to be baptized and to see their parents ministering to them. I wondered how these children, raised in missionary families that place such an emphasis on Christianity and conversion, had gotten to the age of 10 or 12 without being baptized.

It made me think about my own infant baptism. I know I was baptized, though I don’t remember it. And I know that I am Christ’s own, though I have never officially declared it with a believer’s baptism. I listened as the children answered “yes” with varying degrees of vigor to the priest’s questions: Do you believe with your heart that Jesus is the son of God? Do you feel assured that he has washed away your sins? Do you desire to live for him forever? One boy answered, “pretty much” and the priest laughed, replying, “well that is a step forward”. I wondered what I would be able to respond in all honesty to these questions. Do I believe with ALL my heart that Jesus exists as the son of God? Do I feel ASSURED that my sins are washed away? I know at least that I do desire to serve him forever, whoever he is.

Then I realized that baptism is not the same thing as salvation or conversion. Baptism is a public commitment. It is a declaration of decision and allegiance. Just as the sacrament of marriage is not synonymous with being in love, it is the public demonstration and formation of commitment to this relationship, wherever it may lead or whatever it may involve. Though I was baptized into the church as an infant and have quietly grown in my relationship with God the Father, Christ the Son, and the active Spirit, the day may come when I also wish to publicly and officially declare with a believer’s baptism my allegiance once and for all, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death and beyond.